Finding Home

Note: One of my top character strengths is sense of meaning and this post radiates just that..

I planned for this to be a nice, “pretty” and well-crafted  blog post, but I’m letting go of perfectionism and putting this out here exactly as it came to me when I recorded myself on my iPhone voice memo app back in January.. 

iPhone voice memo: January 16, 2023. 

Transcript:

0:02

So a couple  of weeks ago, before the new year, I was in Half Price Books, looking for magazines for us to use for our annual vision board…like a mood board that I do with the boys. And there was this one magazine. I don't know the name of it right now. I'll have to look at that whenever it's time for me to write this out. But I

0:28

was flipping through the pages. And I saw an article that said ‘finding home.’ And I was like… I'm definitely getting this one because I want to read this excerpt. Like I, I feel moved by like the title. And it was like a black girl, as like the cover or whatever to the excerpt.. And I just thought it was really cool..

0:51

But a couple of weeks later, I was in the shower and was thinking [again] about this idea of ‘finding home’. I do understand that, like, home is not a place, it's a feeling. But sometimes places give us certain feelings. And so then I thought about like, the sale of our home. And like how the people that bought our house

1:19

They were moving back to Cincinnati, which is home for them. So like they were finding home.

1:26

We have decided to move back to Lexington. So we're finding home…. like we're going back home. And the people that we bought, that we're buying our house from.

1:39

They're from Korea, and they're going home. And I just think that God works in these really, really, really strange. But oh, so cool ways. Like, there were so many times that he said no to us, we were putting in offers and putting in offers, we probably have seen over 50 houses here in Cincinnati. And the answer was no, no, no, no. And I literally could not figure out why. I kept saying to myself, like, what is he why?

2:13

And it's not really for me to figure it out. It's just for me to be obedient and keep it moving, right. And that's exactly what we did. I quit my job.

2:22

In October, I started a new role in a new district and nine weeks in I said, this is not it. And more so than it being me, not liking it and not being aligned with my with my values. And the things that I believe in. God also said no, he spoke to me…. on a Monday morning when I was in the cafeteria during lunch duty and was like this is not it.

2:47

And so I walked right down to the principal and shared with him.

2:52

But that's a whole nother story.

2:55

So [that] made it easier….made it easier. I don't want to say easier, but just how things are falling in line. For us to be able to go back to Lexington it has not been easy. But I think it's all part of whatever plan he's he's laid out for us.

3:12

Kind of like that picture of the it's like a girl with like a doll. And she has it

3:20

and God's asking

3:22

her to give her the doll and behind his back, which she can't see he has this like really, really big teddy bear. And it's like I'm, I'm having you leave things that you think are so great

3:34

behind because I have something bigger in store for you.

3:38

And I think that that's exactly what is happening here. And it's been really really, really
3:47

fascinating to say the least,

3:51

to be a part of this plan that he has. Now I'm not gonna sit here and try to pretend like everything's like rainbows and balloons because it's not like I've cried more than I care to even share. And it's just been really frustrating, like the experience that we've had at the apartment complex that we're renting from.

4:11

Just like when we sold our house like we didn't have a house to move into because our offers kept getting declined, but they picked someone else. And it's just been really interesting to just see how things play out.

4:25

I wrote in my journal

4:27

several times, like,

4:30

I know that was for me, is not going to miss me.

4:33

I know that what’s for me, is not going to miss me. He's got something for us.

4:39

We just have to do our part.

4:43

So that's what I'm doing.

4:45

And just reminding myself that home is not a place it's a feeling. So whatever feels right, whatever feels good, like– that's home. Wherever you can put your shoulders down. Wherever you know you're safe

5:00

wherever like the boys are safe and will be safe like that home

5:05

and it's not a specific place it's a feeling and it's where God is

Do you believe in the power & value of storytelling & idea sharing? show some love & support!