Protecting Joy
from a February 2023 voice memo
What is a Protector of Joy?
For the last few years, I’ve used “protector of joy” to describe who I am. It’s been part of my social media bio, even on LinkedIn, but I’ve never explained what I mean by it. A protector of joy is a person who consciously protects the joy of others. When I think about protecting or preserving the joy of others, the first thing that comes to mind is protecting the joy of my kids, the kids I’ve taught over the years, and the kids I teach this school year. A protector of joy advocates for keeping joy alive for our young people. This type of protection requires deep empathy and relearning about what support our kids need from the adults in our society. Being a joy protector is also being a disruptor, disrupting language and norms that are damaging and spirit killing our kids.
How to be a Protector of Joy
Understand what joy means
Joy is more than simply feeling happy. It’s also about feeling happiness or contentment even when an individual's circumstances are shaky. Joy in the context of teaching and learning, specifically in a public school setting, means having the opportunity to experience something rooted in a sense of belonging, purpose, and connection. Expressing joy in a classroom or any space means the environment accepts one's identity. It’s important to note what we consider disruptive/unaccepted behaviors vs. what we are triggered by, how we’ve been raised, or how we’ve been conditioned to respond to certain behaviors. For some, laughing with groups of peers and certain forms of communication in some cultures and communities are ways to express joy. At the same time, others may view this behavior as disruptive or unaccepted.
Let go of control
I had a ROWDY 6th grade class in my first year of teaching. The noise levels and the chaos got under my skin and I was often triggered to the point where I would cross my fingers that no one would come in and judge me for how rowdy it was. At one point in the year, I asked my TFA coach for feedback on how to get them to calm down. My coach came in several times to observe and concluded that my students' energy reflected my energy. She told me: “They’re rowdy because you’re rowdy, they’re simply matching your energy.” The energy that she saw was joy. She saw zest and a genuine love of learning.
As educators, parents & caregivers, we see joy in its most accurate form when we shift our perspectives about specific behaviors. Or even when we choose to find joy instead of using every opportunity to redirect or correct. What message are we sending to kids when we attempt to control every environment, situation, and noise? The message is often received as “Who I am doesn’t matter.” or even conformity over personality. For true transformation to take place in classrooms, we have to be open to students being able to ask questions, move, have fun, and be themselves. One small way to start letting go of control is to PLAY, LAUGH, HAVE FUN! This group of 6th graders clapped LOUDLY and unprompted at the end of reading the novel Bud, Not Buddy as a class. That’s joy.
Let kids be themselves
Like groups of students I’ve had over the years, my kids are also extremely loud… and rowdy. And this reality irritates and even disturbs a lot of people. Partly because I have a lot of kids, so when they’re all loud at once, it can be a bit overstimulating. Still, people are uncomfortable with kids who don’t conform or fit the mold of acceptable behaviors. Some years ago, it got shaky with a family member who thought it would be ok to “sshhhh” my kids, who were jumping up and down and screaming at the arrival of another family member. This was an attempt to control behaviors that were viewed as unacceptable. My response was simple: “They don’t actually have to be quiet. They’re excited.” There are little things that we can do that make a big difference in how our kids show up and how they move through the world. In the moment, maybe it was annoying and triggering how loud they were, but did it matter in the grand scheme of things? Was it necessary to aggressively shh a then kindergartner and a 3-year-old? No. It wasn’t. This encounter was a lesson for me, being on the other side and seeing my kids be put down. Celebrating the arrival of a family member they haven’t seen in months? That’s joy. I thought to myself, am I contributing to this type of spiriting killing in my classroom?
Why does this matter?
Because our kids deserve to be part of learning communities that are joyful, conscious, and conducive to working, learning, and becoming valuable and respected members of their communities.
Disclaimer: I consider myself a deep thinker, sometimes an overthinker, keeping it real. For me, this type of reflection comes full circle every time we enter into a new year. A few days ago, I finally had a moment of complete silence by myself, which is rare. I was in a creative state of being, and something told me to stop and open up my voice memo app. Surprisingly, there are a lot of gems in that app that still need some love. Those who know me know that I am a talker, and when ideas come to my mind, and I’m not near my journal or unable to type in the notes app, the voice memo app is the go-to. I can talk away. All that to say, this post is inspired by a voice memo recording from February 2023. If you needed a reminder or a “sign” to go back and look at old journals or listen to old recordings, here it is! And— you’re welcome.
Many ideas and realizations that come up for us are usually there because they are aligned with our values and represent parts of our identity. This message is still very relevant 2 years later.
